Clouds of thought seem to storm my night
Can't help but feel cheated for 4 years thinking that
he was the one, the one I'll grow old with
Eternalize fond and joyous memories that we would have
along the years to come and not to forget the wars...
I just happen to realize that we recently ate at Far East Plaza
and a fellow colleague happen to pass by, whom he greeted and chatted
with for at least 8 mins and he somehow blocked her view
of me as I remembered them in a tango of conversation
He didn't even introduced me! It NEVER crossed my mind till NOW!
I feel furious over this as the dark clouds overcast my thoughts!
Then there was the rejection of sending him off before his flight to Japan!
Revealing that he doesn't want his colleagues to see me, I feel like
a mistress. Am I so bad that his society will not accept me?!

FML
"What do I want" seems to be a question that I can't answer
Its scaring the life out of me that I myself can't seem to decipher or define
Throwing money around seems to make me happy now
But ain't a good habit to keep
Can't seem to get a hold of myself
I think I have withdrawn myself socially to protect my raw wound
Can I banish their memories of him with the gadget from
Man In Black  - that would help me heal tremendously!
It ERKS me now to see couples in the moment
NOT PDA, just those entangled fingers, fingers thru the hair
hand on the face, looking into each other's eyes, etc
These drive me to role my eyes in ERKSOME & JEALOUS fit!
I need a solution - maybe a holiday alone will help
Self rehabilitation to the darkest storm and out - hopefully
I yearn for a warm body to snuggle up and cradled to make me
feel safe and comforted and promise that life will be better
as I will come out stronger to face the world!